Road to the whitehouse

As election day approaches I am filled with dread. At the begining of all the campaigning I wasn't planning on even registering to vote. I knew Hillary wouldn't get it, and I didn't know enough about the other candidates to make a decision. As time passed I began to debate weather or not to vote, but neither Mccain nor Obama had impressed me enough. I felt - and still feel - as if we are pretty much screwed either way. It was only the past month or two that I realized that I might actually want to vote. I began to research and compare Mccain and Obama's policies, and realized that I actually agreed with Obama far more. This of course, horrifies my strictly republican friends and family. Its like when my cousin and sister decided to switch their loyalty to Auburn Tigers instead of Crimson Tide (alabama thing). For the record, I am not a democrat. I'm not a republican either. And although I agree more with the Libitarian perspective, I don't attach myself to any party (although I did take a test online and it determined I am a socialist democrat. lol I wonder....). I actually have some communistic (anarchist not marxism) views as well..... Disclaimer: I do NOT support either Mccain NOR Obama, but if I had to make a choice it would be Obama. There are some key issues that helped me decide, such as the war in Iraq, healthcare, renewable energy, the economical crisis. So forth. And because for all appearances, he is an intelligent man. Mccain comes off like a complete moron - like Bush. And after eight years of this, I am sick of having an idiot as a president. And yes, much of my opinion is based on the differences in Mccain and Obama's policies on the war. As an Army wife the majority of my social circle consists of military personel. My daily life in intertwined with military life. I am privy to things that are not common knowlege among cilvilians, and I don't base my education off the media. And it is time to end this war. Mccain says that we will be in Iraq for another 50 -100 years. Wtf? We should not have even been there as long as we have, much less another century. We are losing men (and women), money, and unity over this conflict. Our country is going bankrupt because we are spending billions overseas. Our military is spread too thin, and too much strain is being put on the soldiers due to multiple and over-extended deployments. Over 4,000 soldiers have died in Iraq, and what does Bush do? Make jokes. "Well those weapons of mass destruction gotta be somewhere. lol Nope, not over there..." Thats not funny. And all Mccain talks about is war. War, war, war. Speaks about how there is going to be plenty more war and we better just get used to it. Mccain views things through a strictly military perspective. He sees no solution to problems other than military force. He jokes about bombing Iran, when that would be probably even a bigger mistake then Bush made in Iraq. Pick a city you want erased from the map, because if we bomb Iran we will lose at least one of our largest cities. They WILL retaliate, and it will be devastating. Our soldiers are not pawns on a chessboard. You cannot simply send them to their deaths because you are a warmonger. At least, you shouldn't be able to. I know that war is inevitable, that there WILL be war in the future. But we shouldn't be eager for it, we shouldn't engage in senseless wars when there are other solutions. Its not a game people.
As for the allegations that Obama is muslim, I don't know. I honestly don't, and I don't think anyone does. I also don't think it matters. Not all muslims are terrorists, and if you believe they are, you are mistaken. America is not at war with Islam, we are at war with radical muslims. And we don't even know if Obama is a muslim. According to my observation, he is as he claims: a christian. He was married in a christian church, his kids were baptized in a christian church, and he has attended a christian church and claimed christianity for 20 years. Oh, but he does originate from a place of islam and I'm sure knows some muslims. By the way I forgot to let everyone know, Bush comes from Texas where the KKK is a big thing......
Oh yeah, for those who believe Obama does not support the troops or doesn't respect the flag, that is untrue. I have seen him lead the pledge of allegience on several occasions, and wear an american flag lapel pin at his speeches - including the one today in Ohio. And he also supports Israel, as you will discover if you google it.
Oh yeah, Mccain thinks Putin is the president of Germany.
I know that this is a hot issue, but we have only a week left to determine the fate of our country. Personally, I think Obama's got it in the bag. This does not fill me with warm fuzzies. But when I think of Mccain "taking the throne" so to speak, my heart skips a beat and I find myself filled with dread. As I said before, things are so messed up right now and both candidates are so wacked we are pretty much screwed either way. Your move, choose wisely.
By the way, I missed the cut off date to register to vote. I probably would have just written someone in anyway..... Myself maybe.
Heres a good link for those of you who want to compare policies:
http://www.ontheissues.org

The past two weeks

Its been a while. I've been busy.
Its been a really good two weeks. After the fair we spent a few days bouncing back and forth between our families houses, just enjoying hanging out.

Thursday was Bill's birthday so we had a little family celebration. I think he really liked the Venice - the board we all pitched in and got him. The next day Sandy, Willy, Joey, Chuch and me all headed up to Cheaha National Park where we hiked about a mile into the woods and set up camp. Willy spent a long time trying to get the fire lit, seeing as how everything was soaking wet and it was still raining. He did get it lit, and we had hot chocholate and hot dogs. The next day Ian and Bill hiked up. We spent the next few days cooking over the open fire, hiking through the woods, and trying not to freeze in the middle of the night. Come monday we packed everything up and headed back to the cars. Unfortunately, sometime during the camping trip my camera messed up so I didn't get many pictures. On the way home we stopped at the skatepark and skated. It was fun. Sandy got some pictures but by the time she got the camera working me and Chuch were finished skating and across the park swinging. So you won't see any of me, though I did skate. =) After that we stopped and ate at Taco Bell, where they screwed up our entire order. Then we stopped by Meme's to visit, and me and Chuch got trapped in the yard by a very large dog (scary). That night I had to say goodbye, and I confess I almost lost it. Getting back home the next few days were spent watching dawsons creek, eating Mama's yummy creations, and just spending quality time with my family. One night Willy and I had a date at our applebees, then went to the tattoo parlor to watch Pooky get her 4th tattoo. It was a phoenix, on the back of her left shoulder. She said it was for me. Its really an awesome tattoo, and I can't wait to get my first. Wednesday I had to say goodbye again. It was depressing, but I made it through. Our plane was supposed to take off at 5:50pm. We checked in, boarded the plane, and waiting. Then they told us we were being delayed because of bad weather in houston. We spent about 2 hours on the plane before they took us back to the gate and we deboarded. After that we got hourley updates, each one telling us we still couldnt land in houston. Most of the people on our flight ended up going home, and there only ended up being about 15 of us left. Willy and I spent our time tag team smoking and watching The Office in the airport floor. At midnight we finally got the green light and reboarded the plane. We definately had our pick of seats on the plane, and ended up moving to a more comfortable place. We got to houston at about 1:45am, and booked another flight to san antonio (no extra charge) at 7:30am. Just as in Birmingham everything in the airport was closed so there was nowere to get food. We - like many others in the same situation as us - ended up sleeping on the floor near a random gate (ours hadn't been posted yet). At 5am Willy woke me up (appartantly I was sleeping deeply because the janitor had been vaccuming around me and I never woke up) to go to our gate. On the way we stopped at wendys and had breakfast. We ended up getting to San Antonio at about 8am, and after hailing a cab and picking up our car from the barracks we got home just before 10am - 12 hours after we were supposed to. I went to bed after calling Mama and letting her know we were okay. Needless to say, it was a long freaking night.
It was a good vacation though. I enjoyed seeing everyone, and it was good to be home. I can't wait until we go back.

ER

Well, we flew into Alabama on sunday. I was giddy as we landed in Birmingham, thrilled to be home. So was Alex. It was our first time flying together, and we had a lot of fun. Mama cried when she saw me and it felt so good just to hold her. We picked up Chuch, Joe, Nik, and Pook and headed off to the fair. It was awesome. I finally rode the ferris wheel. The first one was the bucket with a whole bunch of people, and the second was just be and Alex. It was more scary then romantic though, but awesome never the less. I rode painted horses with Mama, which was special. Anyway, it was a blast. However it was the first time I've ever gotten sick at ther fair.

The next day, however, gave new meaning to the word sick.

I woke up nausious, and within 15 minutes was bent over the toilet. I have a very calm, laid back way of puking, which involves waiting until I know for a fact I'm within 2 minutes of vomiting, then getting up and walking to the bathroom, pulling back my air and waiting for it to come. I'm usually standing and do my best not to touch the toilet. Well, I did this the first 3 or 4 times, but by the 6th I was sprawled in the bathroom floor, clinging to the toilet for dear life, dry heaving. The seventh time I didn't make it to the toilet, I just leaned over the side of the couch and hurled in a bucket mom had for me. Thats when I saw the blood. I freaked out. I started moaning 'mama!' (who was holding my hair) and she said 'i know baby' and called Alex into the room, telling him we had to take me to the ER. Mom only lives about 2 miles from the Elmore County Hospital, which isn't the first hospital you really want to go to, but we were there soon and after signing in and all that jazz I was seen to. They took blood, x-rays, and asked a bunch of questions. The dr thought I have food poisoning, but I lean more towards a stomach bug. Whatever it was its gone now. I am no longer nausious and though he told me to stay on clear liquids for 24 hours I promptly came home and ate a full meal. I was starving. I'm fine now. I haven't puked or even been nausious. I'm a little weak and my stomach is sore from all the dry heaving, but thats it.

Anyway, I am glad to be home. Never a dull moment right?

The facade

Sometimes you just don't expect something to happen, or you have this feeling but you just say your being paranoid. One day I will learn to listen to my intuiton.
What is worth losing a potentially priceless friendship? How much sacrifice is too much in return for knowledge? How much do you let slide, how much do you let someone get away with? I believe in living life on the edge, but some games are dangerous to play and the prize may not be worth the price. But what if it is? What if you put everything on the line in hopes that your gamble will prove worth the risk?
What secrets are too dangerous to keep to yourself? And when is it better to keep your mouth shut?
How far would you let things go in return for self gratification? How much damage would you allow to be done because it makes you feel good about yourself?
What is wrong? Is there such a thing? Are there any black and whites? Are there any wrongs and rights? Or is there simply integrity and the lack thereof. Is there simply people living their lives and following their own paths, regardless of social standards and stigma or their fear of how its going to affect other people?
How many lies does one have to live in order to create another's happiness? How miserable does one have to be to ensure the peace of mind of someone else? Can one person truly make another happy and if so, at what cost to one's self?
Well it seems, my love, I have not forgotten the questions.

So close yet so far

Well, I called again this morning (and yes have been using the urgent care option, I guess they just don't think its actually that urgent), and they finally put me down for Monday. Four days away but at least I've got an appointment.
lady: how can I help you?
me: I have severe lower back pain and need to make an appointment.
lady asks for my sponsor's ssn and my address and name.
i give it to her.
lady: and you said it was lower back?
me: yes.
lady: and how long has this been going on?
me: over a year.
lady: oh....
me: yeah.
So anyway, my back is slightly better. Not much, but I'll take anything. Sleeping on the heating pad seems to help. But I have a problem. My knee started hurting a little again yesterday, probably because I've been sleeping with a pillow under my knees to take pressure off my back. See, when my knee stays bent for too long its gets stiff and starts to hurt really bad. So now I have a dilemma: knee or back. And I can't go back to therapy right now because my back hurts to bad. Oy gevald. Oh and for the record, I'm kind of pissed off that I have to wait until Monday to see the Doctor when I've been barely able to move since Saturday. And for the record, if they prescribe me pain medication you can bet every dollar you have in the bank I am taking it. And if they say ibuprofen, I swear to god, I will stab them in the eye.
Other than that nothing is new. I can't believe its fall..... a part of me wanted this summer to last forever, because there was comfort in knowing my husband wouldn't be deployed for over a year. I can no longer say that.
I can't wait to see my family and friends back home. Even though I've got my own life going on out here in the desert, you guys are woven into my heart so intricately I could never separate it from you even if I wanted.

I am so pissed off

While I didn't have very good experiences with my miltary docters back home, at least they would schedule me an appointment for later in the week. It wasn't "acute" though, just a routine phisical and then a routine pap. Maybe that was the difference. Anyway, here at BAMC they have a really retarded way of doing things. You call in, give your info, tell them whats wrong, and they tell if you if they've got an appointment open that day. If they don't, guess what? You have to call back later and check if anything has opened up. Wth? So I call in, tell this lady I have severe back pain, and she tells me they don't have anything open that day so to call back later. Okay.... Why the hell can't you just schedule me for tomorrow??? It makes no sense whatsoever. I remember they did the same thing to me when I was so sick in the spring. I was having to sleep sitting up, I couldn't breathe, I was miserable. And they told me to call back later. Like I had the energy to keep calling them. It makes me soooo angry. I am sick and tired of dealing with this back pain. Its been over a year now and those morons at Maxwell didn't do jack squat for me. Oh nothing showed up on the xray so that must mean nothings wrong. Yeah, thats why I can't move.

RROOOAAARR!

Real intelligent way to run a hospital. Way to go.