I know I'm young and there are plenty of other people out there to be friends with and look on the brightside and don't write people off and all that jazz.
My point isn't to try and be proven wrong or told to get over it.
I know people come and go, I know most friendships aren't forever, I know people change and grow apart. But thats my point, thats what I'm saying. I DONT LIKE IT. I don't like putting so much time and effort into a friendship only to watch it wash away. I don't like seeing someone who has such a large piece of me and who knows so much about me just turn their backs and walk away. It pisses me off. And its not something I want to spend my life continuously repeating.
All of you can be happy and not upset when you lose a friendship, just take the good memories and be happy you had this person in your life for a bit. But I have never been a 'its better to have loved and lost then never loved at all' person. I watched my father die and I would have rathered he never existed than go through that. I love him, and I have memories I cherish, but he didn't deserve that and neither did I. So when you've lost someone like that, you gain a new perspective on getting attached and then ripped apart. And the friendship I'm referring to, it wasn't some superficial everyday buddyness. It was a rare and unexplainable friendship, the once in a lifetime kind. Please don't preach at me about this just being life. I know a little more about life then people give me credit for.
You look at it like you want, and I'll look at it like I want. I don't want advice or encouragement. I just want to say it sucks and I have no desire to repeat it because to ME, people aren't worth it. And I don't need a extensive network of friends to be happy and enjoy life. I'm not terrified of getting hurt, and I'm not afraid to meet new people. I just don't like them. And its my life and my hand of cards and I have to live it no one else will do it for me. I've got to go through my process, the one that is tried and true. Not someone else's.
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4 comments:
Yeah, you are right. Whoever this person is, they should at least just be honest. I once had a long time special friend(not as special as whoever it is you are describing) that just decided to be distant. She never told me why. I called and called. I continued to reach out for years and I still don't know what happened. I have always wished she had just told me what the problem was. I'm a big girl. I can take honesty. What I have a harder time with is cowerdice and a lack of loyalty. Hang in there, this person that is hurting you is really missing out. I just hate that they are hurting you.It makes me quite angry. I love you!
I love you too Mama, and don't worry, I'm pretty much ready to be over it now. ;)
Hey Mar,
I love the song. It is one of my favorite oldies :)
I completely agree!! (Not that you and I have anything in common. LOL). I often think to myself why any of this is worth it in the end if all we do is get hurt?? But then again I seem to be a gluten for punishment. Love you and miss you!!
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